I have been struggling so much lately. My circumstances and my thoughts. So much of it is just the enemy, but it still wears me out. Like big waves in the ocean. I keep coming up for air and then I get pulled down again. Right now I have fiery darts coming from every different direction. The roaring lion is prowling around my home, and I am worn out.

But I know it is just a season, and if I resist the enemy he will flee from me.

Even if it is just to come back at a more opportune time.

And in all of this, I see my frailty and my humanity and my weakness. I can’t deny it. I am weak. I am tired.

And in all of this, I see my great need for daily salvation.

For the daily forgiveness and for confession.

For communion.

Remembering what He has done for me.

Oh break me Lord.

I need the potters wheel.

I need the Father to hold me and shape me.

And I was sitting here tonight, longing for the Word of God to speak to me exactly where I need it. And I wanted to listen to a Bible study and relax (I am sick). I was thinking how I need to be preached to. I need to hear the gospel. I searched for a David Wilkerson study.

He preaches a true gospel.

Not seeker friendly.

Not accommodating.

The gospel of repentance, obedience, devotion to Christ.

I need that gospel.

I need the truth.

I don’t want my ears tickled.

I don’t want some pastor to tell me that I am doing the best I can, and God understands if I just want to give up and live like normal people for a day (or a week). I don’t want someone to pamper my flesh or to pander to my carnal nature. I don’t want someone to tell me it is okay to just settle. Don’t coddle me; inspire me. Fire me up! I need a drill sergeant to tell me to press into the presence of Christ. I need to train for this war. I need to keep focused.

God says to my heart, “Can a maid forget her ornaments, or a bride her attire? yet my people have forgotten me days without number” (Jeremiah 2:32).

I must stay focused!

Sometimes when God wants to get our attention, it hurts /our pride/.

When He reveals our lukewarm or apathetic inner reality.

Our inclinations to just veg out, turn on the TV and /not/ pray about our problems, but ignore them.

Just to ignore the mountain for a bit.

To not have to think.

Oh, Lord forgive me.

Please set me right. Please give me a new heart. Please pray for me Lord, like You prayed for Peter. Please strengthen me to endure these trials. I don’t want some fake positive affirmation of man to hold onto this coming year, I want Your Word and Your Word alone.

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all of your heart. I will be found by you says the LORD, and I will bring you back from your captivity.” Jeremiah 29:11-14

He will be found by me.

I will seek Him.

I will be delivered from this captivity.

He is my Hope.

He is my Refuge.

My Deliverer.

My Salvation.

In the end, all of this will just strengthen my faith. So I can endure more and more, with His massive hand enveloping my own.

“For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise.” Hebrews 10:36

I am sure that the Lord is just preparing us for the evil days ahead.

“My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials,  knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” James 1:2-4

Here is the study I was listening to tonight:


About The Last Hiker

Following Him Up the Mountain
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40 Responses to Trials

  1. bree says:

    My brother is a graduate of teen challenge. I was introduced to this wonderful man Wilkerson through The Cross and the Switchblade. The story of his life. I have listened to this a few times even with my 15 year old daughter and I must say, its one of my favorite sermons Mr. Wilkerson preaches. We must stay strong and keep the faith in these times. Christ is worth it. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful post of enduring trials with our eyes on our great comforter. He is our rock and our strength. I myself have struggled lately with leaving a seeker friendly churh that promoted the holy ghost movie. It saddens me greatly to these so many sheep being led astray. I feel heavy hearted. I had to repent for my ignorance but the holy spirit has led me to a sound calvary bible church where my daughter is learning the word of God. Praise the Lord for his patience with us and mostt importantly, His grace.

  2. Rick says:

    When my wife and me need a kickstart and a little fire set under us, we have found some great sermon inspiration from Paul Washer and John Macarthur. These brothers are not seeker sensitive and pandering but sincere and dividing the Word of truth.

    It’s like after the storm
    There’s a ray of gold
    That’s how it feels
    To let it go

    It’s like heaven has come
    And opened the gates of your soul
    To let it go

    White Heart – Let It Go

  3. Anonymous says:

    I am reminded of 1 Cor. 10:13, No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to man……. I believe the struggle and weariness you speak of is universal in the church of Jesus Christ because of the time we live in. The times described in 2Tim. 3

    But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God–having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.

    “having a form of godliness” indicates Paul is probably speaking of church going people.

  4. says:

    I just read your blog, “Trials”, and I want you to know I am praying for you this morning. Asking God to give you strength to endure, to hold you tightly in His arms, and to take you safely through the trials you are facing. God bless you, I look forward to meeting you face to face in the eternity that God has promised to the faithful.

  5. Be encouraged! It is “like” a roaring lion that seeks to disrupt you… not “the” “Lion of the Tribe of Judah” who is greater in you than he that is in the world! Be blessed and stand against the wiles of the devil! Continue to speak Truth impressed on your heart by Gods Holy Spirit… you are certainly a blessing to me!!!

  6. Adam says:

    This is a term that every Child of God is familiar with. But God’s Word is an encouragement for us along with the family to help us weather the storms of life each day. We may stumble, but the great thing about God’s Grace is that it is His hand stretched out for us to grab on to. I am praying for you to be encouraged as you walk with the Lord daily.

  7. Hi sister,

    I totally relate to this. We are in the thick of the battle with warning the brethren of the apostasy in the church. I always encourage people to keep it up and stand firm as so few are warning others and we are a light in the darkness. Yet we do need to rejuvenate and refresh ourselves. Everyone needs rest and that’s why there is a ‘sabbath,’ not in a legalistic way, just the principle of rest and getting away to be with the Lord in communion without interruption, like a ‘retreat’ but in the real way. No, we are not retreating from the battle. But we do need some uninterrupted time to just get away (even if it’s just in our closets) and pray and worship and meditate on the Lord (in a biblical sense) and commune with Him. Just through the Holy Spirit and prayer, to seek His will. He is faithful to heal us and cleanse us and strengthen us for what lies ahead, even reveal it to us what our actions should be. We can take refuge in His wings. This is not an appeal to the flesh or to be weak, the word of God tells us to do these things and we need to. In fact how much more do we need to if Jesus, the Lord Himself; did so?
    “But Jesus Himself would often slip away to the wilderness and pray.” Luke 5; 16
    God bless you!
    ( :

    • Exactly! It seems like we have a lot in common. It is lonely in “the wilderness” but the Lord is with us, and He is preparing us. We just need to keep our focus on Him, and not give into the discouragement. 1 Kings 19 God bless you sister. ❤

      • Right on sister!

        And you know, that whole thing is a ‘type’ of the end times church and end times events? Cast of roles; King Ahab; antichrist, Jezebel; harlot church (they are a couple in both cases according to Rev.), 7000 who haven’t bowed to Baal; 144,000 who get saved among the Jews, and Elijah; remnant church. The parallels are striking and full of insight when you dig for them. At one point some king accuses Elijah of being ‘the troublemaker’ who turned Israel upside down, much like the apostates accuse us of turning the church upside down. It’s a must see!

        Anyway, we do have a lot in common, I could see it right away from that earlier post.
        ❤ : D
        God bless you sister! If you want, email me anytime and I will also share my bloglist with you and we can fellowship and stuff. I looked at all these posts and they're great, I totally relate to the dream you mentioned with those on the couch eating chips and the storm is coming… that diagnosed them perfectly and I see that all over. I'll meet you in the storm!
        ( :
        Your sister in Christ

  8. Hi,

    Just a quick note too in general not to get too ‘hung up’ on any teachers nowadays. It really is dangerous and even the ‘very elect’ can be deceived. A good way to check is to go to google, type in their name, comma, and the word ‘heresy’ and see what others have exposed about them. It can’t hurt to check, it doesn’t mean it’s all true. You’d be surprised. Also try; ‘okay to take mark of the beast, heretics’ and see what pops up. I say this as a loving church mother to all, not in a harsh way.
    Peace and blessings!

  9. Hannah says:

    I can completely relate to this post as I too have been suffering so much more than I ever have. Sometimes you feel you are alone, since so many are just so happy. He seems so negative to others but he is so real. A true weeping Jeremiah. I don’t know if we are ever supposed to feel comfortable in this world. I got the feeling from the last message I listened to that he was very upset about some of his grandchildren’s walk. As if they didn’t get it . He explained how he tried to help them understand the depth that their faith could be, I suspect he was disheartened…well, my walk has never gotten easier just harder. I listened to this message awhile back. He is truly a man who was deeply touched by the Spirit and I believe he grieved as Jesus does even now. I have not one friend in the “church”. They think I am too critical. I just can’t seem to blend in anywhere. How I wish there was a Pastor in South Florida like David Wilkerson. If anyone knows one, please let me know. He was the real deal. Praying for you. And for all those who have been called to a lonely walk. May we feel his presence greatly in 2015. Lord , please release this burden we were not meant to bear.

    • Anonymous says:

      “I have not one friend in the “church”. They think I am too critical. I just can’t seem to blend in anywhere.”
      I can so relate! And it has been that way for me for quite some time.

      • Hannah says:

        It would help if you want to share. Thanks for your confirmation!. I have not met any that are truly standing alone. It is so much easier to just keep your thoughts to yourself and remain popular or part of the crowd. Praying for His grace to get through the tough times ahead. Now by might nor power but by his Spirit!

  10. Hannah says:

    This was a very good sermon from Pastor Wilkerson that I listened to a few days ago. It gives you a background on the history of TSC and I believe he shared here some of his family burdens. John Macarthur once said that if any of his children were not walking with the Lord he would step down as Pastor. I think Pastor Wilkerson was greatly burdened in his later years. After really feeling the burdens of this world for so long it is inevitable to be down. Especially when it is in your own family.
    [audio src="" /]

  11. Hannah says:

    Oh I see the link didn’t take. maybe it can be pasted.

  12. Jeri says:

    Last Hiker, I am not surprised at all that you are facing what seems almost like a monumental battle and struggle. You have been wading into enemy territory. Some of the revelations you have exposed, and people in places of Spiritual Authority in some of the Churches. not only not standing against heresy, but actually condoning and in some cases even applauding it, was almost more than I could bear. Many Scriptures warned us of this time. Take heart that some who could be woke up were….That would explain the great battle that the enemy has waged against you. The Scriptures tell us that some are going to be willingly ignorant…but there is a true Church in the midst of this Church of Babylon….or Jesus would not have said “Come out of her my people” Dear Chosen One, Those following another Jesus, Another Spirit, or Another Gospel will not hear you, but those who follow the Jesus of the Bible….will hear you. Take comfort in that!

    • Hannah says:

      Jeri- I agree. When we are doing the Lords work especially in exposing the deeds of darkness, we will be attacked. And we won’t make friends in the process, although God will reach those who need to hear. Yes it is all written.., but not easy to live with. So it helps for the soldiers and watchmen to know they aren’t alone. It is such a lonely existence.

    • Thank you for the encouragement. ❤

  13. Karen says:

    People often quote Jer 29:11, but more often forget (or never read) Jer 29:10 (NETBible) “For the Lord says, ‘Only when the seventy years of Babylonian rule are over will I again take up consideration for you. Then I will fulfill my gracious promise to you and restore you to your homeland.

    don from Sugar’s machine Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose,

  14. Joel Augenstine says:

    Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.
    1Peter 4:12-13

    Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, which according to his abundant mercy hath begotten us again unto a lively hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, To an inheritance incorruptible, and undefiled, and that fadeth not away, reserved in heaven for you, Who are kept by the power of God through faith unto salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations: That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ: Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory: Receiving the end of your faith, even the salvation of your souls. 1Peter 1:3-9

    Who is this that darkeneth counsel by words without knowledge? Gird up now thy loins like a man; for I will demand of thee, and answer thou me. Where wast thou when I laid the foundations of the earth? declare, if thou hast understanding. Who hath laid the measures thereof, if thou knowest? or who hath stretched the line upon it? Job 38:2-5

    Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it. Matthew 16:24-25

    We have no power of our own to overcome these trials, only through Christ who redeemed us on the cross. Nothing but the blood of Jesus can save and protect us from the attacks of Satan. And like you wrote this is a daily occurrence.

    Jesus prayed for us that we would be one with the Father and Him before He went to the cross. If we are one with God the Father and Jesus, what or who can pull us out of His hand away from His protection?

    Neither pray I for these alone, but for them also which shall believe on me through their word; That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me. And the glory which thou gavest me I have given them; that they may be one, even as we are one: I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me. John 17:20-23

    Father I ask that these trials bring glory and honor to You. That these trials are a witness to Your great power and glory. Thank you Jesus.


  15. If you haven’t already had the pleasure, may I commend to you this link to the 300+ sermons on Romans, preached by the late Dr Lloyd-Jones? The sermons are a veritable spiritual feast from the Word of God:

    Also excellent are his sermons on spiritual depression, Ephesians and the great Biblical doctrines series, all of which can be found in the list of ‘sermons by topic’ on the right hand side of the website page. Good food for hungry, weary sheep!

    Blessings in Christ, as you serve Him and His flock!

  16. Top Gun says:

    I live amidst lifelessness too and often finding myself searching youtube for preachers like Wilkerson. I recently found another preacher like Wilkerson who preaches not to please men. Most of his teachings are confronting and have brought me to critically examine and be honest with myself. Zac Poonen touches a subject that we RARELY ever hear, brokenness. Check him out on youtube and his church also has a website. I think I heard him say that all of his sermons are free and most likely on youtube! 🙂

  17. Hannah says:

    Last night on youtube I listened to Carter’s message ” when god is silent” and I think it will lift you. he has a plan for each of us that won’t be thwarted. It encouraged me since I have been in the valley for over 8 years and some days I just can’t get out of the murky waters to see clearly. I found this blog when the pastor from my old church in Florida fell into sin. I had left years before. I had thought you hiker were from Florida but now I see due to the time difference you are on the other coast. Anyway I appreciate all the links on the last 2 posts and I will look into them ths weekend.i have some of dr. Lloyd jones books.

  18. Prayergate says:


    Your article “Bethel – Old Stones and Burning Bones” is spiritually rich! You must have been working on it for awhile! It’s articles like those that stir up the “devouring lion” to attack the author (you)! That’s why I’m posting the comment about it here!

    And as you probably already know:

    “The words of the LORD are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times.” (Psalms 12:6)

    An article birthed out of the “fire” is going to be “pure”!

    With you in the “fire” and “prayer”,

  19. Raymond D says:

    We in American Christianity struggle with the confusion and difficulty that comes from a life devoted to Christ. A false belief-ism has permeated our culture leading us to conclude that walking with Christ is a bed of roses. When we devote ourselves to Him he uses us for the unseemly task of addressing serious issues. Such is the call of salt and light.

    “Wherefore, behold, I send unto you prophets, and wise men, and scribes: and some of them ye shall kill and crucify; and some of them shall ye scourge in your synagogues, and persecute them from city to city: That upon you may come all the righteous blood shed upon the earth, from the blood of righteous Abel unto the blood of Zacharias son of Barachias, whom ye slew between the temple and the altar. (Matt. 23:34, 35)”

    The Lord sends His faithful to fulfill tasks such as this. The emotions associated are real. However, they are better dealt with when recognizing that we are doing the Lords bidding. God is not a respecter of persons and neither am I concerned for the positions of those needing to be addressed.

    Paul not only embraced his affliction but recognized it as an opportunity to know Christ more deeply.

    10 That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death; 11 If by any means I might attain unto the resurrection of the dead. 12 Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus. 13 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, 14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.
    Phil 3:10-14 (KJV)

    It is a difficult process to go through. Yet, we are conformed into the image of Christ being made conformable to His death. Growing closer to him in the fellowship of His sufferings. Paul passed along his example to Timothy;

    10 But thou hast fully known my doctrine, manner of life, purpose, faith, longsuffering, charity, patience, 11 Persecutions, afflictions, which came unto me at Antioch, at Iconium, at Lystra; what persecutions I endured: but out of them all the Lord delivered me. 12 Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution. 13 But evil men and seducers shall wax worse and worse, deceiving, and being deceived. 14 But continue thou in the things which thou hast learned and hast been assured of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them; 15 And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.
    2 Tim 3:10-15 (KJV)

    If we are to look at the word “shall” we find that it is written in the future, passive, indicative. What that states is that Paul recognized that persecution would continue to happen to future Christians (you/me/and others walking after Christ). It is in the passive voice. This means that it would be something that is brought upon us. Its mood is indicative. This tells us that it will definitely occur. So what is occurring in you/me and others walking after Christ is a fulfillment of biblical truth. Knowing that may not make the day feel bright and fuzzy, necessarily. But it lets us know that the Lord knew all along that we were going to go through it.

    I take in encouragement in knowing that He is the author and finisher of my faith and that He who has begun a good work in me will continue it until the day of Christ Jesus. For lo He is with me/us even until the end of the age.

  20. SuMari says:

    Really appreciate this post…it’s one I could/should refer back to often…I so want to press in more…it is my cry and my prayer. To do the hard thing…not what’s easy, convenient or comforting to the flesh. My mountain is a debilitating chronic illness that affects every part of my being…I am physically weak…very low energy levels…my ability to concentrate and read is severely affected…(making reading the Word and study of it difficult)…I hate that…for I love to hear the Word…I long to be in the Word more…I desire to pray more. By His grace I will forge on…again, thank you for this post…a good reminder that we must fight on and not succumb to our circumstances.

  21. Jeri says:

    A Great Spiritual Revelation connected with Victory over our enemy (although it is a future time,it is very relevant today) is found in Revelation 12:10…And they overcame by the Blood of the Lamb, and the Word of their Testiimony. (What they were speaking) Life and death is in the power of the tongue. Joel 3:10 says,,,Let the weak say “I as Strong” This sounds like a contradiction, but it is not, as our confession becomes our Reality.Always ask the Father to Keep You Covered in the Precious Blood Of Jesus..





  22. PAL says:

    Hi, Last Hiker – hope you are alright. You haven’t posted in a while and I’ve missed your posts. Just want you to know that I think of you and the courage you have often. You are in my prayers. May the Lord bless you and meet all of you needs.

    • Jeri says:

      Good to see a little activity on your site. Pal pretty well said my thoughts. as you have been coming into my mind. What is it the word of God tells us ?….concerning the trials that over take our lives….that after we have suffered a while,,,,He will Strengthen….Settle….and Establish us. Am praying for you.

  23. Jen says:

    I have been reading a few of your posts after having my awareness heightened or the stupor being removed. Not certain why in this season I have such a desire to pay attention to these things. I can only sum that this is the Holy Spirit checking me. You’re posts are confirmation to so many things. Thank you for your obedience in posting.

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